There’s a common tourist misconception that Tube staff exist solely to check tickets and scold you for tapping the wrong oyster card. But in reality, they are the backbone, brain, and beating heart of the entire Underground system.

Let’s debunk a myth: Tube staff are not muppets. They are highly trained experts who navigate constant chaos with the patience of saints and the communication style of seasoned diplomats. They know every station layout, every common tourist error, and every emergency procedure. They’ve seen it all, people fainting, people getting their backpacks stuck in doors, people trying to ride the escalators backwards for fun. Nothing shocks them and they will help you.

For example. A good few years back, I used to meet my Dad at South Kensington tube station, Piccadilly Line, west bound platform, after work (I arrived their from the District Line), to continue the journey together. Every night I would arrive and wait for 5-10 minutes until he arrived and I got on the tube towards Hounslow West. We got very good at judging carriage placement and door location for ease of spotting each other.

The first few weeks, the platform staff would check that I was okay, as I had let five trains pass. After a few months I knew their names, they mine. When there was a screw up with the tube, delays, etc. then they were able to tell myself or Dad that the other had gone on ahead…

If you’re a tourist, and you’re lost (which you will be, don’t lie), Tube staff are your best friends. Need to know how to get from Camden Town to Greenwich? They’ll tell you. Wondering why the Northern line just vanished from the departure board? They’ll explain it. Asking why your train is delayed? They’ll give you the only answer ever spoken during such moments: “Due to an earlier incident.” What was the incident? We will never know. It is classified.

Tube staff also manage everything from crowd control to safety announcements. Without them, rush hour would devolve into an environment resembling a medieval battlefield, just with more tote bags.

They also perform the heroic act of handling unattended bags. Because Londoners, trained by decades of safety campaigns, treat every abandoned item like a live grenade. Tube staff calmly inspect, assess, and manage the situation while everyone else stands 15 metres away, ready to sprint.

And let’s not forget the voice behind the announcements. They may sound calm, but understand: these people are communicating critical information to a mass of tired commuters who respond by taking out their headphones and going “Huh?”

If the Tube were a vast underground kingdom, the staff would be its wizards, wise, powerful, and slightly mysterious. Treat them kindly. Ask questions when you need to. And for the love of tea, listen when they tell you to “move down inside the carriage.”